So I was talking to my therapist (on a therapy group) about my mother and how I'm mad over the fact that she acts childish most of the time, but I didn't realized until now I wasn't expressing myself the way I'd want. Why? Well, no idea, but I was talking about it as if it was something casual rather than something actually bothering me. Maybe because she's my mom? Or maybe because I was nervous to let my actual feelings out? I don't know until now, but all I know is that my therapist told me I should be mad with my mom's behavior, but I just couldn't feel mad even if I really wanted to. Why? No idea.
I had feelings for one of my friends who I knew since august, he was almost everything I could ask for in that moment, but when I decided to tell him about it I don't know what happened. Instead of saying ILY WILL U BE MY BFBFBFBFBF I was more like "I don't wanna feel this but I love you." as if I just wanted to leave the feeling. He's not a bad person, but there was a small part of me when I didn't want to have anything with him due to him being friends with my bestie, and while it might seem and sound stupid I just didn't want everything to be uncomfortable when we were in meetings for example. Obviously he said no on my confession, but he did say that he'll help me get through it. In fact, he rejected me in the nicest and most respectful way I ended up crying because of that. Why? No idea.
